As a teen girl, why is it so hard making friends?
I am currently a junior, going on to being a senior, in High School, and I can confidently say that making friends has NOT been easy. From being bullied all because I liked a boy, to being chirped in the hallways by a group of girls who hated my pure existence, I have learned the reasons why girls act the way they do and how to shut them down:
​​​Its not necessarily fair to say ALL girls are threatened by other girls. However, there are instances where girls may feel threatened by you in a competitive environment, such as High School. This could be because of insecurities and feeling like you have something they don't. Their insecurities are only a reflection of themselves, and it should not make you feel bad about yourself.
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1. They are threatened by you.
2. They desire attention.
At this point in a girls life, social acceptance and recognition becomes very important. Spreading nasty rumors, gossiping and verbal criticism are all ways that girls fulfill their need for attention and acceptance. The bottom line is: these "pick me" girls will always find ways to make themselves look better than you because they lack self-esteem... or because they are bored and have nothing better to do with their lives!
3. They want to feel powerful.
Bullies always want to have a sense of control. The "queen bees" in High School want to stay on top, and they feel that bringing others down will keep them there. For them, its easier to pull you down to their level or try prevent you from becoming better than them. This is a way of making them feel more important, which again, is only a reflection of their own insecurities.
How can I shut them down?
1. Don't give them the reaction they want.
Ignore them. Bullies feed off of attention and will expect you to react. It shows them that you are affected by what they have said/done. DONT SHOW YOUR WEAKNESS! You need to show them that their words and actions do not affect you.
2. Stand your ground!
It's okay to talk back. Remember that emotionally reacting will only give them the satisfaction they want. Give some attitude back! It shows them that you aren't afraid to stand up for yourself.
3. Spark some empathy.
Girls can bully for many reasons. It could be to maintain popularity, because of stress at home, or other reasons. They may not understand that what they are doing is wrong and hurtful. Asking "how would you feel if someone did this to you?" shows that you aren't a threat to them. It also leaves room for talking and understanding why the bully is doing what they are doing. You never know if a friendship could result from it!